Darker THAN Dark and I Still See The Light
by Tara Rose Falls
Summary: What happens when the ugly truth comes out? Can Castiel handle Dean? This is just something I wanted to try. It is short and I am lacking in confidence so it is very very short.  that was the start Now we're on a road trip together with this enjoy!
1. Hopeless

Darker Then Dark and I Still See The Light

By Tara Rose Falls

NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED So yeah with that clear. I am sorry you can stop reading at any point but Please Bad or Good I need a review I will only start to another chapter if I get 10 Reviews and You don't have to even say anything just review and put ... Okay Thank you Check my profile for more reason's about the reviews. WARNING: Heavy angst, Blood,

Thank you and on we go.

Dean set up in the hotel bed sweating as he ran his hand through his thick dark hair he glared at himself in a mirror across the room he looked at himself. What had happened to him he wasn't sure He should be living it up with Lisa and Ben but he couldn't do it not with Sam gone and Castiel gone he had no one nothing no point no meaning no reason to wake up no point in live. He sat up and took his glass half full of whiskey and headed for the bathroom he chugged what was left in the glass and placed it on the end table beside the bathroom.

He opened the door and stepped into the small bathroom his feet were cold as he stepped onto room the cold tile floor felt like they were walking on ice holding his feet in place. He rubbed his face with one hand the fatigue was getting to him again with the other hand he turned on the light he walked over to the sink and stared himself down broken hallow he may as well have said yes to Michael and had him leave him a empty shell. Something was eating at his soul far worst then anything they could have done to him in hell. He pulled his shirt off over his head and dropped it on the floor. He undid his belt and unbuttons his pants pulling the zipper down. Dropping his Jens to the floor and kicking them away.

As he walked to the shower he felt ugly inside and out. He turned on the water till it was pure heat burning his skin. It made him feel. He felt it the pain the wonderful sensation. He had gone too long without feeling anything at all so he let it burn everything away the taint the sin the ugliness the uneasiness the emptiness and the unclean feeling. He was unsure how long he had been standing there but when the hot water ran out he turned the shower off stepping out he loosely secured a towel around his hips. Stepping over to the mirror he stared at himself again.

He couldn't control anything in his life every one he loved had slipped away. He hit the mirror breaking it. It cut open his hand he watched in morbid fascination as his blood dripped out of his body and across his skin and onto the broken bits of mirror he smiled it hurt so bad it felt good he felt so much right then at that moment. Pain relieved and most of all he felt clarity a overwhelming calm. But it left all too quickly. He picked up a piece of the broken mirror as he pulled it across his hand he closed his eyes the pain felt so wonderful it was almost like ecstasy better then sex he felt hole and hallow all at the same time but most of all he felt. That he felt anything at all made him smile he pushed the piece of mirror down his arm watching the blood flow he pulled it to his wrist pulling it down.

He pulled it down his other wrist watching the blood pool. He felt his head go light and all he could do was laugh. The wings of a angel could be heard in the small room. Castiel turned to look at Dean who was laughing as if he had lost his mind and was holding a piece of mirror covered in blood that was still cutting into his hand. He was bleeding all over the floor. "Dean!" Castiel bent down and put his fingers on Dean's forehead trying to heal him he sighed relieved that it had worked. Dean started to cry.

"No no, no why, why would you take it away? You cold heartless son of a bitch!" Dean screamed at him. Castiel started at him his eyes wide with fear. He knew how Dean felt upset but why he wanted to bleed out. Castiel did not know. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean who only fought him pushing him away kicking clawing he bit him anything he could like a wild animal trying to get away. Castiel picked him up and throwing him over his shoulder walked into the room and set him on the bed he wrapped his arms around Dean who was still fighting him he bit Castiel in the neck making the angel moan, Dean's eyes got wide.

As if the sound had broken something inside of him. His green eyes looked up to meet blue, scared his green eye's showing nothing but wide eyed fear. "I..I'm sorry..I'm sorry please, please, please don't leave me not again please, please" Castiel held him running his fingers through Dean's hair "its okay you need to sleep I promise I will be here when you awake. We will talk about it in the morning after you rest sleep now." Castiel placed his fingers on Dean's head. Dean fell into a deep sleep Castiel started at him a tear ran down his face as he held Dean close to him. "I'm sorry I wasn't here." Castiel whispered.

I know it;s short very short sorry ask for a update?  
>~Tara Rose Falls~<p> 


	2. Lonely

Notes: Okay I'm trying to get better. I know I had said that I would make another one if I got 10 people but a few of you seemed to really want to see where this was going and so do I so here have another one same as the last chapter if you see anything wrong point laugh cry yell but I can t fix it if that s all you do so please review it.

Castiel spent that night arms wrapped around Dean. The sound of wings could be heard clear as day in the little hotel room.

"Castiel I have been callin-" Her words cut off at the sight of Castiel head angel who was to lead them. Her hazel eyes got wide seeing him lying in bed with a human man. Castiel looked over at Adora. "What do you want Adora?" Castiel said trying to keep his temper in check.

"I..I was sent to find you. After you did not come back but I find myself uncertain of your choice's Castiel." Castiel watched her. "What would you say that Adora?" Adora pointed a finger at Dean.

"You are sinful. You are lost angel. Anyone could see why you are always desperate to leave heaven. It's because of HIM!" Castiel glared at her. "You will remember to watch your tone." Adora glared right back at him. "You are in l-" Castiel removed Adora and himself from the hotel room. They stand in a large dark meadow.

Castiel was the first to speak. "Adora! You have no right to tell me about what is right or wrong to have feelings for another man is not wrong and you know it!" Adora Snickered "You've gone soft Castiel yes men can love men but no Angel can love a human. ANGEL'S don't have feelings. You know what would happen. Castiel do you really want that to happen to your little hunter would you?"

Castiel stormed over to her. He griped her by the throat cutting off her airway. Castiel cocked his head to the side. "You tell anyone about what you have seen with me and Dean or talk to him or so much as look at him in the wrong way. I, Will, Make, You, Pay." Castiel let go. Adora fell to the ground holding her throat trying to breathe. "You are crazy!" Castiel tipped his head as he grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"Adora let me ask you do you REALLY want to see how crazy I am." Adora's eyes grew wide. Castiel stepped closer to her. "There is a reason they sent ME to hell to get Dean." Castiel frowned as she disappeared. "Well so much for that." Castiel said.

Slipping back into his blank stare and returned to the hotel room to find Dean was not where he left him. "Dean?" Castiel looked around the room for any sign of the man. Castiel calmed himself trying to feel out Dean. He could barely hear the crying coming from under the bed. Castiel got down on his knees and looked under the bed. "Dean why are you under the bed?" Dean reached out and grabbed a hold of Castiel's tie. "Shh"

Castiel looked into scared green eyes. "Dean there is nothing in the room." Dean pulled Castiel closer. "That's right. That's how it was when I woke up, after having a nightmare about Sammy in hell. His face b~u~r~n~i~n~g A~w~a~y~" Dean said in a quite singing voice. Castiel took Dean's hand and next thing Dean knew he was laying on the bed not under it anymore.

"I had something that I was obligated to take care of." Castiel stared into Dean's green eyes. He could tell he was trying to sort something out. "Dean, I'm not going to leave you." Dean looked at Castiel who seemed to hit home when the hunter stared at him his eyes filling with unleashed tears.

Castiel pulled the hunter into his arms, running his fingers through his hair. "Don't worry as long as I'm here I won't let anything come near you." Dean gave a nod. Sitting in Castiel's lap his head against the angel's chest Dean for once felt safe. Castiel gripped onto Dean. He feared what would happen if the broken man ever learned the truth about his angel.

Dean opened his eyes and at first glance around the room he found the angel was nowhere in sight. With a sigh Dean closed his eyes. "I'm right here." Dean opened his eyes looking around the room still not seeing the angel. "Great I am hearing things that aren't there again." Castiel smiled from the little kitchen in the next room. Dean rolled over. "I'm still dreaming that's it." Castiel came into the room a tray of something in hand.

Dean looked at Castiel with greatly confused. "Cas, What are you doing?" Castiel set the tray down on the bed. "Angel's don't sleep." Castiel said as if that told him everything he would need to know. "That still doesn't tell me anything." Castiel glanced down at the floor. "I know how much you love beacon burgers so I learned and cooked one for you." Dean was shocked. "Why would you do that?" Castiel bit his lip trying to find a way out of this. "Why did you try to bleed yourself dry last night?"

It was Dean's turn to look away in shame. "I wasn't. I was just.." Dean could feel the heat coming off Castiel as he stared at him. "Trying to what go back to hell Again?" Dean glared at the angel "You have no right, you left me! You just took off when I needed you the most! So don't you DARE talk to me like I did something wrong?" Castiel pulled away from Dean's harsh words.

"I had to take care of something s. Dean as much as I wish to my father that I didn't have to leave you alone, I had to chose to do some very hard things to keep you safe because I CARED about you. I'm sorry if that myself sacrifice wasn't all you wanted it to be!" Dean stared at Castiel dumbfounded. "Did you just yell at me?" Castiel let out a deep breath. "Look I am sorry. I didn't mean to yell." Dean just stared at the angel. "No by all means it sure beats how you where when we first met."

Castiel smiled remembering the barn. "You and Bobby had it set for every evil thing to walk through that door." Dean smiled "Something evil did walk through that door." Castiel cocked his head to the side."What do you mean?" Dean smiled."You are evil in ways that-" Castiel cut him off. "If you think I'm evil why should I stay here at all?" Dean blinked as in a rush of feathers. Castiel was gone. "You're evil because you make fall deeper in love with you every day."

Castiel was standing in a white room. He looked around to make sure he was alone. He sat down finding himself alone. His eyes closed as tears ran down his face. "If he only knew how true those words are." Castiel rubbed the tears from his eyes and made his face blank when he heard the sound of wings. "Castiel are you alright brother?" Mira looked at Castiel with worried green eyes.

"I am fine why do you ask Amitiel?" Amitiel grabbed Castiel's chin making him to look at him. "Brother don t you forget who I am." Castiel let out a sigh. Amitiel a angel of truth. "Amitiel let me ask, do you think I am evil for the work I must do?" Amitiel stared at him with wide eyes. "Castiel you are a lot of things but evil? Why would you think that?" Castiel looked away. "I feel like I am..Unclean tainted by the work that I must do."

"Castiel you are young yet. Do not let yourself forget we do what we must for what is right." Castiel smiled softly to him. "Thank you my brother. I will think your words over." Amitiel smiled. "As far as the human goes. Dean. He said it for another reason then you think. That I am sure of." Castiel glared at her. "How did you know who said it?" Amitiel's smiled became a grin. "He is the only one in one hundred years that gets under your skin this much. Everyone knows it." Castiel let out a sigh. "Why does everyone know more about it then me?" He frowned. "You know we can't tell you that." Castiel just sighed.

Dean sat there for a long time just wondering where the angel could have gone. "I wonder what you would do if you ever found out all the things I wish to do to you?" Dean said to himself. Dean jumped when his phone rang out.

Dean flipped it open to read the name. "What s up, Bobby?" Dean could hear Bobby sigh. "Well kid. I know you are out. I just wanted to call and check up on you." Dean frowned. "I'm fine. Bobby is there something I should be watching out for?" Dean turned his voice into a happy tone. "No just wanted to make sure you where staying out." Dean almost laughed. "Yeah okay Bobby. I'm happy. You worry too much, Old man." Bobby laughed "Well I've got to go." Dean closed his eyes. "Alright talk to you later." With that the line went dead. It was all too easy the lie.

"Why did you lie to him?" Dean frowned. "What does it matter to you?" Dean said as he got up and walked over to the mirror. "It means the entire world to me." Dean looked at the dark self he tried to hide talk in the mirror. "Why would it?" The dark Dean grinned "Because next thing you know you will be just like me!" He laughed. Dean frowned. "That will never happen I will die first and you know it!"

Dean yelled punching mirror shattering it. He stepped away breathing hard. "I'll never do what you want. You should just go back to hell." The dark Dean laughed. "You tried to leave me back at the pit remember." Dean growled and grabbed his head, falling to his knees on the broken glass. "Shut up, shut up, and just shut up!" Dean yelled tears rolling down his face.

Dean looked over and picked up a piece of mirror and stared at it with lust. Then he remembered Castiel's face. He had been so scared. He threw it as it shattered on the wall he smiled. "I can't do it..." Dean lay on his back on the mirror shards. He hissed in pain for a moment and let out a sigh closing his eyes. "Where ever you are Castiel. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

Castiel stopped in the middle of a slice, blade still in his hand blood dripping off the end. "What's wrong you have a change of heart? No wait you don't have one silly me." Castiel turned back to the demon. His eyes had a shine to them as he grinned. "You wish you where that lucky."

The demon's eyes got wide. "Human's say we should be feared but in truth it's you angels that should be feared." Castiel set the blade down on a tray picking up a cup of holy water. "Are you saying you re scared of me?" The demon pulled against his restrains. "If I said yes would you let me go?" Castiel grin widened. "No. Not until you tell me what I want to know."

Castiel grabbed his hair pulling his head back and dumping it down his throat. The demon struggled to get away. "Are we ready to talk?" Castiel cocked his head to the side as he watched the demon spit out blood. "I already told you I don't know anything! Please let me go." Castiel looked to be thinking on it for a moment. "Let me think."

Castiel walked over to the table and picked up a double edge dagger. He slowly walked back over to the demon "How about no." Castiel said as he shoved the dagger into his shoulder turning the blade. "Why don't you tell me someone who would know something that you don't know? I promise to make it fast." The demon nodded his head. "Ricky he hangs out at a bar in midtown in a town called river." Castiel smiled pulling the blade out and stabbed it into his right side. "Now I want you to beg for your death as you have denied mercy to so many."

The demon started to cry. "Please please, please kill me kill me!" Castiel smiled and ripped through his side and across his chest. He pulled the blade out as the demon howled in pain. Castiel ripped it across his abdomen. He watched as his guts fell out of his body. The demon still breathing, Castiel cocked his head to the side. "I think you spilled your guts."

Castiel put his hand on the demon's head burning his soul clean killing him. Castiel walked to the door as he opened it another angel handed him a new set of robes. "Thank you Shateiel" The mute man gave a nod.

Castiel left using one of the hotel rooms next door to Dean's he showered watching the blood. He knew he didn't have to wash it away but he didn't want to use the power of heaven to clean it because he felt human as if he could be forgiven for what he did.

Dean laid their starring up waiting for something to happen. "God if you hear me. Send me a sign let me know that I don't belong to hell... With the flutter of wings standing in the room is a young woman with long blond hair down to her knees looked at him and cocked her head to the side. "Dean Winchester. I heard you." Dean's eyes got wide as he jumped up off the floor cutting his hand open adding more blood to the mess on the floor. "Who the hell are you?" The women smiled. "My name is Amisha. I am god's vessel." Dean frowned.

"God is missing." She smiled a pure smiled that looked like sun shine. "Yes I know but he gave me the power to do what he asked of me." Dean stared at her. "What would god want?" She frowned. "I m here to answer you." She stepped closer to Dean. "What do you mean by that?" Dean asked backing away from the woman. "Shh it's okay Dean. I will not harm you."

Dean felt something telling him it was okay that she was telling the truth. "Fine, What is it he wants you to tell me?" She smiled. "He doesn't want me to tell you anything because he said you wouldn't believe words." She stepped up to him laying a hand on his back. "Sorry this may hurt." She said as she pulled him closer placing her lips to his in a sweet kiss, moving her hand up his back right below his shoulder blades. Dean broke the kiss to glare at her. "Sorry honey I alr-" He was cut short by a burning pain so strong he passed out.

~Thank you for reading sorry for all the bad things about it. ~ 


	3. Confused

Thank you for all the reveiws! ^-^ hope you enjoy!

Castiel dressed and ready turned his robe into his suit and trench coat when he returned to Dean's room his eyes shot open at sight of the room, trying to find Dean when he saw him on the floor. "Dean!" Castiel ran over to him. "Cas is that you?" Dean asked really groggy. "Dean Dean what happened?"

Dean came too his eyes shot open. "Where is she?" He said jumping to his feet. "There is no one here. Calm down and tell me what happened." Dean blinked "I was well laying on the broken mirror when she showed up." Castiel moved them to sitting on the bed to look Dean over. "Who was it that showed up Dean?" Dean blinked "God sent mail in the form of a woman." Castiel froze when he got to Dean's back after healing his feet and legs and his hand. "Dean what did this woman say her name was?"

Dean frowned. "Amisha I think." Castiel's eyes got wider looking at Dean's back. He backed away slowly. "Dean did she put a hand on you?" Dean stared at him. "Cas... Cas What is it? What's wrong?" Castiel stared in awe. "Dean, you have a hand burned into your back." Dean blinked. "Like the one you gave me?" Castiel frowned. "No this is like a burn pressed into your flesh." Dean picked up his cell. "Point and push this button when you see it in the box." Castiel did and handed Dean the phone.

Dean almost jumped at the sight "Holy shit!" Dean stared at it. "Why does it look like she pushed her hand into your flesh did you let her?" Castiel asked snapping him out of his lost thoughts. "I didn't let her do anything she... distracted me. " Castiel narrowed his eyes. "How did she do that?" Dean rolled his eyes. "She was kissing me. I was trying to push her away when she burned her hand into my flesh."

Castiel raised an eyebrow "Dean how are you feeling?" Dean looked at his hand. "I feel fine other then the burning on my back. Why? " Castiel set down in front of Dean. "Amisha has been missing and was believed to be dead." Dean got up and started to pace. "So we have one missing what angel human?" Dean asked as he shook his head. "Just what is she?" He ran a hand through his hair. "She is none of those things." Dean froze "What do you mean what is she then?" Castiel let out a deep breath. "She is the child of a man and a nymph." Dean blinked "I thought they all died out over the ages?"

"Just like dragons?" Castiel smiled. "Human's believe a lot of things aren't real or died out so that they don't have to face the truth." Dean looked at Castiel's smile. "You have a great smile." The words left his mouth before he could stop himself. "Thank you. I think." Dean looked around the room for his glass as he got it refilling it. "So what does she have to do with god I don't understand?" Castiel looks down at his hands "I don't know I mean I know for a fact that no one knows where god is everyone has checked everywhere he has ever been and turned up nothing." Dean stopped and frowned. "That's a lot of man hours" Castiel gave a nod. "It has taken a long time."

"I'm sorry that you haven't found him yet." Castiel looked up at Dean. "I just wish I knew that what I'm doing is right." Dean watched the angel as his face became sad. "But that aside we need to find out what that mark on your back is." Dean let out a sigh and sat down next to Castiel. "Cas… do you hear every time I pray?" Castiel looks to him frowning. "I only hear when you pray to me." Dean looked at the confused look on Castiel's face. "Because I asked something of god and then she showed up." Castiel 's look changed to one of worry "What did you ask? Who did you pray to?"

Dean looked away. "Dean you need to tell me." Dean glared at Castiel. "I was praying to god! I asked him to show me that I don't belong in hell!" Castiel's eyes got wide. "Dean, why would you think?" Dean gave Cas a death glare. Castiel let out a sigh. "You are more moody then a women with a child." Dean slapped Castiel across the face breaking his hand. "Dean, why did you hit me?" Castiel asked confused. "Because Cas you deserve it." Castiel looked down. "I am sorry." Dean let out a sigh and took a swig of his drink. "It's alright." Dean walked over and flipped on the TV. They both set there for a long time just watching whatever was on. "Hey can I ask something Dean?" Dean looked over at Castiel "What Cas?" Castiel glanced over at Dean "Why aren't you with Lisa and Ben?" Dean let out a deep breath. "Lisa said to leave she couldn't take it anymore."

"Oh." They went back to watching cartoons. "I think we should go to talk to Bobby tomorrow." Castiel gave a nod. Dean put on a movie and Dean and Castiel stayed like that for the rest of the day. Dean fell asleep. Dean could hear little moans coming from the bed next to him keeping his eyes shut. 'Sammy for the love of god I'm trying to slee- 'Then it clicked Sam isn't here then who.' Dean opened his eyes to see the angel laying next to him with his hand down his pants. Dean could only watch in fascination as Castiel was beside him stroking his cock as another moan escaped Castiel's lips Dean could feel himself growing hard watching the angel lightly squeezing and stroking his cock his eyes closed in pure bliss. Dean couldn't help but close his eyes and pretend to be asleep as he threw his arm around Castiel. Castiel's eyes shot open in fear of being found out.

Castiel took a deep breath trying to calm down. Dean let out a light moan pulling Castiel close wrapping his leg around Castiel's leg. Castiel bit his lip. Dean couldn't help himself as he let out another light moan and rubbed his hard cock against Castiel's leg to see how he would react. When the angel didn't move Dean moaned again. "Ca" Castiel's eyes shot open wide. 'Is he dreaming about me?' Dean moaned again pulling the angel closer. Castiel let out a light hiss as Dean's knee came to lay right on his painfully hard cock. "Mmm so good" Dean muttered. Castiel's breathing hitched when Dean started to hump his hip and rubbed his knee over Castiel's cock. "Oh! Dean!" Castiel whispered closing his eyes. Dean opened his eyes hearing his name. Dean smirked when he saw the angel's eyes closed. Quickly he straddled the angel. Castiel's eyes shot open in fright. "Oh my dear Castiel it seems you have something to tell me later." Castiel blushed and with a flutter of wings was gone, Leaving Dean on the bed alone to groan. Castiel watched him standing on the far side of the room. "What are you playing at Dean?" Dean turned to look at the angel.

"I'm not playing at anything." Castiel closed his eyes. "Dean I… We..We can't do thi-"Castiel opened his eyes to find himself face to face with Dean. "Cas I don't want to hear it." Castiel opened his mouth to protest only to find the hunter's chapped lips pressing to his own. The kiss quickly changed from chaste too harsh. Dean moved his hand to Castiel's fly, undoing the button for better access. "Dean...please, don't do it stop" Dean froze. "Why?" Castiel closed his eyes trying to gather his thoughts. "Bobby is calling me." Dean frowned. "Go see what he needs." Castiel looked at Dean "Will you-"Dean smirked. "Yeah I'll be here." Castiel gave a nod. "You called." Bobby turned and looked at Castiel with a frown on his face. "We need to talk."


	4. What

Thank you for all the reviews! They really keep me going I go back when I start to feel like there is no point in posting anymore and reread them. So please remember to review!

"Something is going on with Dean." Castiel frowned. "What do you mean?" Bobby picked up a book and threw it at Castiel. "You picked him from hell for a lot more then what you told us." Castiel looked down at the book. "What are you talking about?" Bobby threw a random book at the angel. "Don't act like you don't know anything about it!" Castiel frowned. "I don't I'm not allowed to know anything about it for some reason." Bobby's eyes got wide. "Then…" Castiel looked at him confused. "Then what Bobby do you know what is going on?" Bobby walked over to pick up the books. "Go find Dean then we'll talk." Castiel gave a nod and disappeared. "The idjit's… don't know what they are in for."

Castiel looked around the room for Dean. "Dean?" Castiel looked all over the hotel room to find it was empty. "Shit." Castiel went back to Bobby's "He's gone. I don't know where he is." Bobby let out a sigh. "I'll try to call him." Bobby pulled out his phone. "Ring… ring… ring…" Bobby sighed. "Where are you boy?"  
>Dean watched the phone ring over and over again. "Just leave me alone." He looked back to the road turning up the radio. "Hello Dean." Dean jumped. "Who the hell are you?" He asked the man with deep blue black eyes and bright red hair. "Nice to meet you too, Dean." Dean drove the impala to the side of the road and parked her. "Get out of my baby now!" The stranger got up and got out. "We need to talk." Dean glared at the man. "Let's start with who are you and what do you want?" The redhead looked at Dean "I'm sorry. My name is Jelial I'm an angel a seraph to be more precise. And like I said we need to talk. "<p>

Dean looked at the redheaded angel. "Well Jelial what is it you want?" Jelial let out a sigh. "You need to stay with Castiel." Dean smirked "Well thanks but last I looked I can do without a baby sitter. " Jelial let out a sigh. "Look here mate, Castiel NEEDS you. You are a pompous ass." Dean was a taken back by what he said. "What do you mean Castiel needs me?" Jelial rolled his eyes. "Are you dumb I thought that was pretty clear?" Dean closed his eyes. "Why in the world would Castiel need me why would he?" Jelial looked at him. "You and Castiel both have your parts to play." Dean glared at him.

"A part… You mean like Sam and I had are parts to play?" Dean pulled his gun. "I am sick of playing parts, playing games." Jelial took a step back. "That won't kill me." Dean smiled. "But I'm sure it will hurt like bitch." Jelial gave a small nod. "Now as far as Castiel and I go we aren't playing so move on." Dean turned and dropped his gun into the Impala. "So see you never. Goodbye." Dean opened the door and got in. "Dean, Wait!" Dean drove off. "Castiel come in Castiel."

Castiel looked at Bobby. "Dean is calling." Bobby gave a nod. Dean glanced over at the angel. "What the hell is going on?" Castiel frowned. "What do you mean?" Dean slammed on the brakes. "Don't act like you don't know what's going on!" Castiel let out a sigh. "Why does everyone think I know what's going on everywhere everyday all at in the same time." Castiel yelled getting flushed. Dean laughed. "Okay point taken. So you don't know about an angel by the name of Jelial?" Castiel's eyes got wide. "Yes Jelial is the angel of Passion." Dean froze taking in what he said. "What did he say?" Dean's eyes got wide. "He said that we you and I had are parts to play."

"We need to go to Bobby's." Dean looked at Castiel. "Is he okay?" Castiel gave a nod. "He wants to tell us something." Dean looked back at the road. "Like what?" Castiel took a deep breath. "He wouldn't tell me until I fond you." Dean frowned. "Well let's not keep him waiting." They didn't take that long to get to Bobby's but it felt like forever Castiel wanted to ask about what had almost happened at the hotel and Dean was in denial. Dean plus denial equals no point in trying.

They pulled into the yard the front door broken in. "Cas?" Castiel looked at Dean and gave a nod. Dean went to the trunk and pulled his bag and gun in hand went for the door. "Bobby?" he asked turning the corner. "He's not here." Castiel said Dean lowered his gun. "Son of a bitch!" Dean spent the rest of the day calling up other hunters trying to find out when the last time Bobby was heard from. Castiel spent the day going over Bobby's notes. "Did you find anything?" Dean asked as he walked into the room. "Nothing, it looks like some of it is missing." Dean lend on the door frame. "So who ever took Bobby stole, What, Books, notes?" Castiel looked up from the papers to Dean. "Both." Dean frowned. "Did you hear anything from the other hunters?" Dean let out a sigh and pushed off the door frame and walked into the room. Castiel watched Dean closely. "A hunter by the name of Darrel said Bobby was going to be his back up for a nest but he never showed up."

"When was that?" Castiel asked. "Right after you left today." Castiel frowned. "You said we would help didn't you?" Dean smiled. "Yes I did." Castiel glared at him. "And what are you going to say 'Hi this is Castiel he is an angel of the lord here to help?" Dean laughed. "No I told him I would be bringing another hunter with me a partner of mine." Castiel glared daggers at him. "I'm going to make you sorry for this Dean." Dean smiled. "Bring. It. On."

Dean left a note on the table in case Bobby showed back up. "You ready?" Castiel gave a nod and they got into the Impala. Dean started the car and pulled out of Bobby's Castiel rolled his eyes as he drummed to the beat of one of his songs. Castiel looked around his butt felt funny. Dean watched as Castiel kept wiggling around. Dean ruled it down to Castiel didn't like to travel by car. "Dean. Stop the car something is wrong with my seat." Dean frowned and pulled over to the side of the road where Castiel jumped out of his seat. Dean started laughing. "Cas it's the phone." Dean picked it up.

"Hey Chuck, What's up?" Dean smiled at Castiel. "Hey Dean have you talked to Bobby yet?" Dean frowned. "No, Bobby is missing." Dean could hear Chuck take a swig of whatever bottle he was into. "Chuck did you tell him something?" The line was quite for a few minutes. "Yes. I had another dream you need to get here as fast as you can." Dean frowned. "We are-"Dean was cut off by chuck. "On your way to a job tell Darrel you can't make it. You and Castiel need to angel your asses over here." Dean frowned. "Alright we will be there soon." Dean called Darrel and told him they wouldn't be able to make it something came up. Dean hung up and looked at Castiel. "We have to angel air way over to Chucks." Castiel got back into the car. "Are you sure?" Dean gave a nod. "Alright then if you're sure." He then put one hand on the dash board of the car and the other on Dean's shoulder. Castiel zapped them from the road to outside Chuck's house.

"Dude, that wasn't as bad as it is most of the time how come?" Castiel smiled. "I just moved the car. You just happened to be in the car." Dean got out and looked around. "If I would have known it would have been easier I would have done it sooner." As Dean closed the door to the Impala he nearly had a heart attack. "Cas what the hell did you do to my baby!" Castiel blinked and tipped his head. "Look at this! The wheels are gone. Go get them back right now before someone steals them!" Castiel disappeared and reappeared with the tiers at his feet. "What happened was it too much for you?" Castiel frowned looking like a beat dog. "Cas, hey it's okay I'm sorry but what's wrong with your mojo?"

"I've been away from heaven for too long." Dean blinked. "Your battery is failing or something?" Dean watched the angel's face fall even more. "Yeah, something like that." Dean watched the angel closely. He could swear he looked sad. "Why not just go back and charge up?" Castiel looked at the ground. "I can't." Dean looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean you can't?" Castiel looked up at Dean. "I mean I can't go back to heaven!" Castiel snapped. "Look Cas it's okay, calm down." Dean put a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "What part of as quick as you can? Did you not understand?"

Dean and Castiel both turned to look at Chuck. "Dude what happened to you?" Dean ran up closer to get a better look at Chuck's black eye and busted lip. "I had a fight with someone. That's not why you're here." Castiel walked up to the others. "Castiel I know what's wrong with you and with Dean." Castiel and Dean both looked at one another then back to Chuck. "What do you mean?" Chuck smiled. "Come on inside then we'll talk."

~I know another short cliffy I can keep doing them short or I can have a longer wait you guys pick


	5. Authors' note: Thank you

Authors' note: Okay thank you so much to everyone who has been reviewing on every chapter RubinAmigo thank you so much for all the other reviews that have helped.

2lazy2login

RhianKristen

Katara Uchiha

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You're reviews have helped a lot ^-^ be it to keep the story going or to help me get better thank you all so much! ~Tara~


	6. Why

~Chapter Why?

"Chuck what the hell is going on around here?" Chuck picked up a bottle of whiskey taking a not so small sip. "The angel's bond my tongue so I can't tell you." Castiel let out a sigh. "But I do know that you will lose all your powers before this is over but I can't say what will make you get them back they will only return when the time is right but you still need to know that you should follow the signs and whatever you do don't get off the path." Dean looked at Chuck "What the hell are you talking about I don't understand what you are talking about." Chuck rolled his eyes. Castiel tipped his head when Chuck put the drink down and pulled up his tongue to show them the sigil like tattoo under his tongue. "Wow they REALLY don't want you telling us anything. YOU ARE ALL SPINELESS DICKS!" Dean shook his head. "Thanks Chuck."

Castiel frowned. "Chuck what do you mean that I will lose my powers?" Chuck smiled. "Don't worry Castiel it's for the better." Castiel stepped closer to Chuck. "But will…" Chuck nodded "Yes, you will be a human for a time." Dean watched the mixed emotion on Castiel's face. "It will be alright. He said you would get your powers back. Isn't that right Chuck?" Chuck smiled. "And then some." Dean didn't like the odd smile on the man's face. "Chuck…" Chuck gave a nod. "Yes "Dean's eye's went wide "What where you going to ask?" Castiel asked looking from Dean to Chuck and back to Dean.

"I asked if I am the reason you lose your powers." Dean said looking at Castiel who seemed shocked. "Dean, why would you want to make me lose my powers?" Chuck stepped forward "Dean doesn't want you to lose anymore because he… "Dean was signing that he would kill Chuck. "Because he what?" Castiel was feeling confused and frustration. "Well because Dean cares and feels for you." Chuck said just going for it. Castiel blinked. "I already know he thinks of me as family." Dean smiled and Chuck rolled his eyes. "Do you?" Chuck smiled. "The Angel's sent him on a trip good not bad he's find I REALLY wouldn't try looking for him." Dean frowned. "Why?" Chuck tried to think how to say it. "He is reliving his youth."Dean looked grossed out. "Come on Cas, I think where done here." Chuck sighed. "Sorry I can't be more help." Dean looked back to Chuck. "Don't seat it now we have to go…" Chuck smiled "Fix the Impala." He said in time with Dean. "Later."

"Where are we going?" Dean looked at Castiel. "Out front we still need to fix the impala." Dean blinked at the fixed car. "Cas did you?" Castiel tipped his head. "No." Dean walked over and double checked to make sure that what he was seeing was the tiers and they were on right. "Well they did it right." Dean said looking at Castiel. "I learned from the best. So I knew what to tell them to do." Dean's eyes went wide. "Is that really you?" Sam smiled and gave a nod. "Yep it's me well kind of." Castiel looked at Dean and the air in front of him. "Dean who are you talking too?" Dean looked from Castiel to Sam. "Why can't he see you?" Sam smiled "I taped into your mind. It was the only way I could think of."

Dean frowned. "So your still..." Sam frowned and gave a nod. "Yeah I am…" Castiel slapped him. "You are being very scary please stop it."

Dean rubbed his face. "Trying to talk to Sam just hold on a moment." Dean turned back to see that Sam was gone. "Sam was there he said he was in my mind and that was the reason that you couldn't see him is that possible?" Castiel looked deep in thought. "Yes I do believe I know of one way." Dean looked like he had just won the lotto. "I think I know how to get him out." Castiel's eyes got wide. "Can we really try to break Sam out of the cage?" Dean smiled "I think I know a way if he and I can both chant a spell I know of I can do the physical part from are end to kind of summon him. Do you think it would work?" Castiel looked thoughtful for a moment "It may just work."

" Let's get going." Dean opened his door and got in the impala Castiel looked at him from the outside of the car. "Cas can you not open the door?" Castiel blushed Dean couldn't help but drop his jaw at how cute, young and innocent that made the angel look. "Stop staring I used to just put myself inside the car now I have to get use to doing things without my powers. " Dean got out and glade that Castiel thought it was a dumbfound look and not a I want to rip your clothes off and rape you look. "See this button you push it in and pull the door and it opens. Castiel got in after Dean showing him how to work the window and the knob to get in and out of the car and Castiel asked about what every little thing in the car did. "What does that do?" Castiel asked pointing at the tape player. "That is how you get kicked out of the car. You REALLY don't mess with that." Castiel frowned.

"You wouldn't really throw me out." Castiel fond he had a dry mouth. "Would you?" Dean blinked "No Cas I wouldn't but that is my music and my music is how I get through the day so please just don't mess with it okay?" Castiel nodded Dean watched Castiel's face as if he was a child who was told that he could never have candy ever again. "I'll show you what tapes are what so you know what to hand me when I ask you okay?" Castiel's eyes lit up and his smile was dazzling. "That would be great." Dean smiled starting the impala he couldn't help but think about just how much Castiel had changed from when they first met.

Sometime later Dean looked over to see Castiel sleeping in the seat next to him he smiled and decided he was tired as well. Deciding that it was time to turn in he turned into a hotel parking lot. "Cas, wake up sleepy head." Dean shook the man. "I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU!" Castiel screamed out jumping up in his seat as if Dean had said that the car was on fire. "Cas, I didn't know you did." Dean said playing around. "I…I…I was dreaming…" Dean frowned at the sad look on Castiel's face. "What was the dream about?" Castiel looked down at his feet in the floor board.

"I don't want to talk about it Dean. Where are we?" Castiel asked looking around. "We're at a hotel. What was it about sometimes it's better to talk to someone?" Dean watched as Castiel seemed to consider what he had said. "I don't want to talk about it." Dean sighed. "Alright I'll respect that." Dean opened the door for Castiel who nodded in thanks and got out of the Impala. "Thank you." Dean closed the door. "Don't sweat it." Castiel blinked. "But I am not hot so what am I sweating?" Dean smiled. "It means don't worry about it.

Castiel blushed lightly. "Oh…" Dean put a hand on Castiel's shoulder before he could stop himself. "It's fine. There's no need to be shy you are still learning." Castiel looked from his hand to his lips. "Can I kiss you?" Dean took a step back. "Let's go get the room." Dean said quickly walking away from him. Castiel closed his eyes. "I guess that answers that… "He opened his eyes to watch Dean go into the office. "You don't want me…But who would…" Castiel stepped closer to the office to have Dean come out the door so fast he tripped over Castiel and they both fell to the floor. Castiel stared up for a few moments before putting his arms around Dean's neck and leaned up to place his lips softly on Dean's. Dean closed his eyes and kissed the angel back. "What changed?" Dean asked breaking the kiss.

"I don't know… I just REALLY wanted … no I NEEDED to do that." Dean leaned down to clam Castiel's lips. Castiel and Dean felt like they were in heaven till a lady walked by and yelled. "Get a room!" Dean and Castiel both froze that is what they had just done they got a room. "We have a room…" Dean said. "I can't do that Dean…please just let this be enough for now…" Dean smiled. "There is one thing we have to do before I will say yes to your terms. You have to say yes to mine." Castiel raised a brow. "What would those be?" Dean blushed a shade of bright red. "I want you and I to…"

Sorry yes I know another cliffy I want to see some votes 1. Do we go after Bobby put in 1 for yes 2 for no. 2. Tell me what would you like to see happen wall in the hotel room. 3. Is anyone enjoying this? Love yall ^-^ Please review with your answers.

Sorry It didn't upload right the first time hope it's better ^^


	7. Twisted

WARNING: Angst, Evil Castiel, Blood, More Blood, Manly cuddling,

~Chapter Twisted

"You want us to what Dean?" Castiel tipped his head. "Let's go inside then I'll tell you." Dean got up and helped Castiel to his feet. They both walked to the room in silence. Dean was trembling at the thought of asking Castiel to do something he had wanted to do for a long time the only thing was he wasn't sure he could handle asking and still not seem like some hopeless love sick girl.

Dean dropped the keys when he tried to place them in the door Castiel picked them up. "If you are worried about it this much maybe you shouldn't ask." Dean smiled. "Thanks Cas." Castiel smiled and gave a nod. "I would like to know at some point what it is." Dean blushed again and opened the door to see a angel with short blond hair and bright green eyes. "Hello." Dean glared. "Why no we don't want to buy any angel food cake good day go away." Dean said putting his bag down and heading back out to the Impala.

"Castiel we need to talk." Castiel let out a sigh. "Let me tell Dean that I am leaving." Dean was outside by the car when Castiel stepped out to find him. "What the hell Cas don't you have like Angel radar or something?" Castiel looked down. "Dean he wants me to leave with him…" Dean looked at Castiel with a worried glance. "Can you do that?" Castiel throw his hands up and dropped them back to his sides. "I don't know." Dean opened his mouth but closed it when he saw the angel behind Castiel. "We need to leave now they were getting your tools before I left." Dean frowned looking from the angel to Castiel. "Cas what's he talking about?"

"Nothing we must be going." Castiel said and kissed Dean on the cheek as if he did it all the time and fled faster than the angel still standing still. "Dean Winchester. Do you love him?" Dean was taken aback by the question. "Who the hell do you think you are that I would have to answer to you?"

Dean walked up to him to stand in his face. "I wanted to ask, you asshole." The angel left leaving Dean alone with the Eco of what he had asked in his head. Sure he liked Cas and he kept kissing him. But did he want more than that? Did he want apple pie with Cas. Dean fainted hitting the car on the way down.

Castiel looked at the angel in front of him. "Who is it?" He asked as he cocked his head to the side the angel looked at him. "The demon that you handled the other day this is the demon that he told us about. " Castiel closed his eyes and opened them turning his suit back into a robe.

"Is everything I need inside?" The angel gave a nod. "Very well then. Let's do this." Castiel grinned at him and tipped his head. "If you ever get to close to Dean again ask the others what I will do to you." Castiel turned opening the door with a sway of his hand. "Oh look someone new. You think you can do better?"

Castiel's grin widened. "Oh I don't think." Castiel walked over to the table and picked up the salt. "I know I can." The demon frowned. "Where did you come from?" Castiel laid a ring of salt around the devils trap. "The real thing you want to know isn't where I'm from…" He walked over to the table and picked up a dental pick. "It's where all have I been."

Castiel picked up a vile of holy water. He turned and walked over to the demon. "You see…" He dipped the dental pick in the holy water. "I wanted to learn as much as I could…" Castiel pulled the demons lips and pushed it straight through and let it hang their locking his lips shut. "I learned all kinds of things…" Castiel walked back over to the table paying the demon who's lips where smoking and dripping blood. "Things an angel should never know." The demon pulled his lips apart to be able to say one word. "Why?" Castiel smiled.

"Why...Why…Oh you mean why would I want you to shut up when you where told you would spill your guts?" Castiel picked up a hook that fit into the palm of his hand and walked back over to the demon pushing it through to close his lips shoving the dental pick back through. "I don't want to find anything out they do." The demons eyes went wide. "I just want to enjoy myself." Castiel walked back over to the table picking up four rings and dropped them into some boiling holy water.

Dean awoke to a kid poking him with a stick. "Hey knock it off." The kid screamed and ran away. Dean stood up and walked to the hotel room. "Damn, Have I really been out for a whole hour?" He asked himself.

He walked to the bathroom to take a shower looking at himself in the mirror he felt that chilling desire filling him like a fire in his veins' he could feel his heart beat in his wrists. "You want it you can feel it." Dean closed his eyes. "No I won't do it…" Evil Dean laughed. "You will take the blade out of your boot and cut yourself you want it far too much to let it go." Dean shook his head as if that would kill him. "No, No, No!" Dean looked at his wrist. "You want it think about how it felt…It was so easy…" Dean pulled the small blade from the small of his back.

"It felt so good…You didn't need anyone…" Dean laid it against his skin. "Not Sam, Castiel, Bobby." Dean closed his eyes and pressed it into his skin the sharp bite of the blade opened that world again. Lust Love Pain Hurt None of it mattered he was at peace. Dean kept sliding the blade up and down his wrist until the room went dark. He passed out and hit the floor.

"Dean, Dean Wake up!" Dean blinked a few times before opening his eyes. "Who are you?" He asked the angel standing in front of him. "My name is Millie I am your guardian wall Castiel is away." Dean smiled at the angel. "First I don't need a baby sitter. Second you're doing a real bang up job aren't you?" She smiled and pulled him to his feet easily. "Well you're my first assignment." She said blushing.

Dean looked at the thin angel with long blond curls and deep blue eyes. "Let me ask you something?" She smiled and nodded. "Why is it that Castiel is the only human or angel that I have ever met with such clear blue eyes?" Her smile grew. "He is the only one in the world that is marked." Dean pointed bathroom door. "What do you mean marked?" She followed and smiled when he opened up the door for her.

"I overheard some of the other angels talking; they say he has been chosen." Dean frowned closing the door. "What do you mean Chosen? What has he been chosen for?" She smiled. "Why for you silly." Dean frowned. "What do you mean? Chosen as my guardian angel?" She looked around like she was checking to make sure they were alone. "He is going to be someone great but he will need you. You feel for him." Dean took a step back. "It is all over your face silly." Dean looked at the floor. "You are made for him as he was made for you."

Dean stared at her like she had three heads. "What are WE made for?" She frowned. "I will be punished for telling you anymore than that." Dean glared at her. "Get out." She looked down. "One other thing, before you go." She turned hopeful eyes to him. "You tell Castiel that you had to heal me I'll hunt you down and kill you. Just so we're clear." Her eyes widened and she fled. Dean looked at himself in the mirror. "You know she'll tell." Dean closed his eyes. "You know what we have to do." Dean opened his eyes. "Kill her." They said together.

Castiel picked up two more red heated rings of metal with a pair of tongs and pushed it into the three others burning it into his lips the demon screamed best he could with his lips burned shut. "You know I have always wanted to try skinning and salting someone." Castiel smiled and picked up a flaying knife. "I'm going to enjoy this." He very carefully skinned the right side of the demon's chest. Blood was running from the open wound. Castiel walked back over to the table to pick up a paint brush and a bowl with some past he made of salt and holy water.

He walked back over to the demon. "I like art did you know that." Pushing the holy salt on the brush and brushing it down the open skin watching it smoke and burn. "I feel like I should be singing." He applied a thick layer on the open flesh. "Oh, Dear me I forgot you had something you wanted to say." He walked back over to the table and set down his bowl and brush picking up a pair of pliers. "I should fix that." He said laughing as he walked over to the demon he taped the ring with the pliers. "Dose that hurt?" The demon nodded his head. "If I remove those are you going to be a good boy and talk?"

The demon nodded his head very quickly. "Okay then…But wait oh my they are melted into your flesh first we need to fix that." Castiel griped to hook and ripped it out. He smiled as the demon threw his head back. "Aren't you a poor thing?" Castiel mocked. He ripped the dental pick out. The demon threw his head anyway trying to keep away from Castiel's hands and plan to rip anymore out.

Castiel smiled at the demon's childish attempts to get away. Castiel griped his head with one hand and pulled the pliers up with the other hand and lock onto one of the melted rings sticking out of his skin and ripped. He smiled and ripped all the rings one by one. "You fucking monster!" The demon screamed at him. "My, what a mouth you have." Castiel walked over to the table setting down the pliers to pick up a cigar cutter. "Well you sadly need your tongue so I guess we'll just have to use your fingers."

He walked over and put the cutter around the first finger. "This little piggy went to market…" He cut it off the demon screamed. Castiel moved on to the next. "This little piggy stayed at home…" He cut it off and moved to the next. "This little piggy had roast beef…" He cut the finger off and went on. "This little piggy had none…" the demon braced for the pain. When it didn't come he opened his eyes. "You know it always bothered me that the pig had no trouble eating a cow. You think they would be alike in some way. That would be like me an angel eating a human." Castiel shrugged slightly and cut off the finger. "And this little piggy screamed all the way home." The demon screamed and Castiel laughed. "Now I'm going to leave you to talk to my brother and you are going to tell him everything he wants to know or I'm going to come back in here and we are going to play…" Castiel paused for a moment. "Castiel started to sing wall he turned and put the cutter back onto the table cleaning his hands with holy water.

"London Bridge is broken down,  
>Dance over my Lady Lee;<br>London Bridge is broken down,  
>With a gay lady.<p>

How shall we build it up again?  
>Dance over my Lady Lee;<br>How shall we build it up again?  
>With a gay lady.<p>

Build it up with silver and gold,  
>Dance over my Lady Lee;<br>Build it up with silver and gold,  
>With a gay lady.<p>

Silver and gold will be stole away,  
>Dance over my Lady Lee;<br>Silver and gold will be stole away,  
>With a gay lady.<p>

Build it up with iron and steel,  
>Dance over my Lady Lee;<br>Build it up with iron and steel,  
>With a gay lady.<p>

Iron and steel will bend and bow  
>Dance over my Lady Lee;<br>Iron and steel will bend and bow  
>With a gay lady.<p>

Build it up with wood and clay,  
>Dance over my Lady Lee;<br>Build it up with wood and clay,  
>With a gay lady.<p>

Wood and clay will wash away,  
>Dance over my Lady Lee;<br>Wood and clay will wash away,  
>With a gay lady.<p>

Build it up with stone so strong,  
>Dance over my Lady Lee;<br>Huzza! 'twill last for ages long,  
>With a gay lady.<p>

Castiel turned and bowed and left the small room to look at the angel who had a eye brow raised. "You wouldn't understand. The angel gave a nod. "He is ready to talk. If not call me." Castiel kept signing as he walked off down a long hallway to go get cleaned up.

Dean left the hotel and went to the main office and booked the room next door for the month and smiled and walking into the room he pulled out the blade still covered in his blood and cut his wrists again. As the first drops hit the floor the angel came running. Dean smiled and tipped his head. "I can't run the risk of you telling Castiel anything." He flicked his lighter and dropped it in the holy oil setting it to burn as he held his bleeding wrist and walked back over to the hotel room and locked the bathroom sliding down the door he closed his eyes blade still in hand he started to pull it across his wrists over and over. He smiled as his vision swam and the world went black.

Dean woke up about a hour later and wrapped his wrists. He showered and watched the water mix with the blood. Castiel in the shower on the other side of the wall watched the water mix with the blood of the demon. Dean and Castiel both closed their eyes. "What have I done to myself," Castiel and Dean said at the same time closing their eyes. Dean got done and stepped out and was buttoning up his cuffs on his over shirt when Castiel showed up.

"So how did everything go?" Castiel smiled. "I'm glad to be back here that's all that matters." Dean smiled. All they could think was 'Glade that he will never know the truth.' They both thought it at the same time. The silence was killing Dean. "Want to watch TV?" Castiel smiled. "Yes…I would like that very much."

They sat for a long time just watching whatever was on. Dean was watching Castiel who seemed almost bewitched by the show on the box. Slowly Castiel started with lying down on his stomach but changed to lying on his back. Dean closed his eyes to open them to see Castiel lying in his arms. Do you love him? It repeated again in his head. He closed his eyes and pulled Castiel close and they stayed that way for the rest of the night.

~1. I maybe am moving so I tried to make one to leave you with for now. 2. Sorry if it was odd or bad or anything review if you liked or what you would like to see of them next. 3. Thank you for reading ^-^


	8. Death

~Chapter Death

Dean woke up to the sun shining on his face but he couldn't seem to care when he felt a warm body laying on his chest opening his eyes he looked at the messy hair of the angel he had come to adore. "Just what are you doing to me…" Dean asked to no one really. 'You love him…You want him… You want to cut him up and watch him bleed…You are a sick puppy…I can help with that and you know it.' Dean closed his eyes willing the voice away.

'No. This is the one thing you will not mess up no matter how much you wish it, He is mine and mine alone. You will not have one thing to do with him you hear me?' Dean wrapped his arms around the angel holding him as if he would fade away.

Castiel woke up to being crushed. "Dean? Why are you crushing me?" Dean let go of Castiel. "Just having a bad dream I think. How did you sleep?" Dean said lamely Castiel gave a nod and blushed. "Yes this was nice, but I do wish to not be crushed." Dean let go of Castiel so fast he flung himself off the bed. Castiel smiled and laughed and Dean sat there staring at the angel his laugh was one of the most beautiful sounds Dean had ever heard. Castiel blushed.

"Why are you staring as if I just did something amazing?" Dean's smile only grew. "Because that was as corny as this is going to sound and I can't believe I'm saying that was the most beautiful laugh I've ever heard." Castiel blinked. "I think that is the first time I felt humor. I slept. Why is it when I'm with you I always find something new to learn and feel?"

Dean smiled. "Aw my little angel is all growing up on me." Castiel let out a sigh. "I am being called for." Dean frowned. "Alright you do what you have too." Castiel stood. "I'm sorry…" Dean looked at him. "Why are you sorry?" Castiel looked away from Dean. "I don't know what I was doing. We can't be anything more than friends…" Castiel left before Dean could say anything. "Maybe that's for the best…" Dean said to himself and closed his eyes.

Castiel looked at Adora. "What do you need?" She looked at the ground. "You asked me to find out if it really is Amisha." Castiel stood waiting for the answer. "Yes it is father at work. It was her." Castiel frowned. "Why would he send her to Dean…" She looked at him. "I still don't know we are trying to find out what is it he wants because he has not been seen or heard from at all till now." Castiel looked at her. "Is he talking to any of the angel's?"

"No." She said shaking her head. "May I go now lord Castiel?" Castiel gave a nod. He closed his eyes and went to the place he loved the most the park. He sat down on the bench. "What are you doing father…" Castiel set for a hour or two in prayer hoping for a replay that never came.  
>Castiel could hear Dean praying for him he returned to find him sitting in the floor blood on the floor and empty bottles of whatever alcohol he could get his hands on it looked like his blade still in his hand. "Dean! Are you trying to kill yourself again?" Dean looked at him tears in his eyes and running down his face. "If I have to be alone and miserable the rest of my life then yes I would rather die." Castiel stepped closer to him. Dean pointed the blade at his chest right over his heart. "If you come any closer I'll do it."<p>

Castiel froze. "I'm not going to leave you we just can't have the love we feel…" Dean closed his eyes. "That is even worse than anything…because I love you Castiel it took so long to come to with term with that from the start and now I can't even have that… I can't do this I'm sorry" Dean stabbed the blade through his heart and all Castiel could do was scream "NOOO!" Castiel ran to him. He pulled the blade out trying to heal the wound.

"NO DEAN!" Castiel screamed as cried out unable to heal the wound that he had given himself. Castiel could feel the tears burning his face. "Dean please...don't…don't leave me...DEAN!" Castiel shook Dean trying to wake him. "You're all I have left of happiness…" Castiel laid his head on Dean's bleeding chest. "I'm sorry…" Just then angel's filled the room. "What is wrong Castiel?" Amitiel was the first one to open her mouth only to gasp at the sight before her.

"Go away all of you! Leave NOW!" Castiel yelled as fast as they had come they left till only Amitiel was left to walk over to him. "Castiel can you hear me?" When Castiel didn't replay he just sat there staring at Dean's corpse. Amitiel closed her eyes in prayer. "What is it dear sister?" Amitiel turned to look at her twin. "Leitima help me get him out of here the cops will be showing up soon." Amitiel and Leitima took him on either side and took him to the white room. "Castiel…" He didn't struggle or move. All he could do was sit frozen replaying the days before and all the things he would have changed about it.

Leitima slapped him across the face. "Snap out of it!" It did nothing the twins looked at one another and moved him over to lay on the sofa and gave one another a worried look. Over the next few hours they had all taken turns to sit with him to try to talk to him. Nothing did any good. Amitiel was sitting next to him. Castiel jumped up so suddenly scaring the shit out of her. "I know how to save him." She blinked. "Castiel what are you talking about?" Before he said another work he disappeared

AN/ Okay I Know it's VERY short but I don't even know if any of you are still even reading this so please review


	9. Change

~Chapter Change

Dean woke up feeling cold and he looked down and naked. "What the…" He looked around and saw an old man standing in front of him glasses perched on his nose. "That's very fascinating." Was what he said looking at Dean who was busy looking at everything in the room. "Why am I in a morgue? One and two what is so fascinating?" The older man got a lab coat from the door for Dean. "Here my dear boy put this on." Dean blinked. "Thank you."

The old man pulled up a chair. "My name is Garret mister Dean. You are in the morgue because you where dead. You have been dead for almost a day you were called in this morning. But not but a moment ago a odd white light burst through your chest and you set up." Dean blinked. "How do you know my name and why are you taking this so well?" Garret smiled. "I am a old man very few things are shocking to me anymore. And it is called a toe tag." Dean raised a brow at the man. "Think about it after dealing with Vampires, Shape Sifters, Ghouls and everything that comes through that door as a dead body." Dean smiled. "So you're who is on the other end of a hunter's job." Garret smiled.

"Yes my father was a hunter." I picked the more subtitle job less danger unless they didn't end up dead the first time." Dean gave a nod. "So what are you?" Dean looked at where the wound was. "A human hunter with a angel on his shoulder." Garret raised a brow. "That is a new one even on me."  
>Dean smiled. "So have you seen my angel he's this tall and messy dark hair light clear blue eyes and a trench coat?" Garret frowned at him. "Dean no one was here when you came back." Dean frowned. "Is there any way you can get my belongings?" Garret gave a nod. "I can also come up with a medical reason for your being not dead as well." Dean smiled. "No I think it's better if I stay dead…Again." Garret shook his head." Sometimes the less you know the better."<p>

Garret turned and walked right into Castiel knocking the jar out of his hands sending it crashing to the floor Castiel fell to his knees in front of the glass as if trying to put it back together. "Cas how many times do I have to tell you something's that are broken you can't put back together again yet you still keep trying." Dean smiled. Castiel froze. "I'm so sorry my dear boy. Are you alright?" Garret held out a hand to help the angel up. Castiel stared at the hand. "Cas…Hey Castiel snap out of it man!" Dean yelled at the angel getting up and walking over to him freezing when Garret put a arm in front of him. "Watch for the glass." Dean nodded to Garret.

Garret looked from Dean to Castiel. I'll give you boys sometime I'll be back." Dean nodded to Garret, "Thanks." Garret left and Dean walked around the glass to put his hand on Castiel's shoulder. "Cas…" Castiel turned and looked at Dean wrapping his arms around Dean. Dean put his arms around the angel lightly. "Cas…are you alright?" Dean could feel the angel shaking. "Cas…" Dean tightened his grip around Castiel. "Hey, hey it's okay." Castiel pulled back from Dean. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Please, please promise me you won't kill yourself again." Dean nodded. "I promise to do my best." Castiel pushed his lips to Dean's. Dean stood there in shock for a moment before he loosened his grip and closed his eyes returning the kiss.

Castiel stepped back pulling out of Deans light grip and looked at him sadly. "Castiel what's wrong?" Castiel closed his eyes and when he opened them tears fell from his eyes. "I do love you so don't think I don't but there are reasons it is taboo for an angel to be with a human. " Dean opened his mouth to say something but Castiel raised a finger to his lips. "I will make sure you are never alone. Goodbye." Dean stared at the place where Castiel had been standing he didn't know for how long when Garret came back. "Dean…Dean are you okay my boy?" Dean broke falling to his knees he started to weep. Garret watched in sadness and confusion and patted Dean on the back. "It's okay let it out…" Dean felt himself being ripped apart from the inside out.

Castiel stood in a green grass in a empty park and fell to his knees tears pouring from his eyes. Amitiel showed up and looked at him sadly. "Oh Castiel…" Castiel turned to her and she wrapped her arms around him. "Oh my poor little brother… I'm so sorry…" Castiel cried out on her shoulder for a long time before he spoke. "I love him…I've loved him from the start but why did he have to love me in return I don't deserve him…" She shook her head. "No. You do deserve him just as he has the right to love you. Are laws are foolish. You two belong together that much is clear to all of us."

Castiel looked at her. "Brother do you know that you can be together you just can't have sex. But love doesn't always need sex." Castiel looked at her. "I want you and Leitima to watch over him… Please I beg this of you I have no one I trust more…" Amitiel frowned. "Brother you know we are not of Guardian rank." Castiel's face turned to that of fury. "Fuck ranks. Fuck the rules. I don't trust anyone else with this…please." Amitiel sighed. "Alright. But we need to talk to Leitima before I can speak her. But ?I'm sure she will say yes." Amitiel closed her eyes in prayer. "Amitiel. You already know my answer." Amitiel let go of Castiel as he stood Amitiel walked over to her twin. Leitima are you sure?" Leitima smiled and nodded. "You should know better then anyone what it means to be a taboo." Amitiel looked at her shocked that she would say anything in front of Castiel. "Sister please." Leitima smiled wider.

"He will find out from Dean if you do not tell him now." Castiel looked at the two confused. "What are you two talking about?" Amitiel took Leitima's hand. "We are a taboo for we love one another." Castiel stared at them. "Are you telling me that you both are…together?" Amitiel smiled and Leitima nodded. They both walked over and kneeled before him as if they where the same person. "We here by take your task to guard Dean Winchester." They said at the same time. Castiel smiled and placed a hand on both of there cheeks. "Thank you sisters. Go now to him he will need you."

They both nodded and left. Castiel smiled. "At lest he is in good hands. I swear father I will find a way around this." Dean cried till his eyes ran dry and he couldn't cry anymore. Laying on the floor and stared at nothing. Garret tried to get him up to sit on a sofa in his office. The twins left to find Dean it had been two days since they had been asked by Castiel to watch over Dean in those days no one was there to watch Dean as they had spent that time to take over their vessels. "They appeared before a man who was in a hotel room empty bottles of anything and everything you could find in a liqueur store. "What did he do buy a store and drink it?" They stared at the man laying on the bed passed out from over drinking.

Amitiel looked at Leitima and frowned. "What's wrong?" Leitima asked. "Humans shouldn't be able to drink this much it's not possible." Leitima frowned. "Maybe it's from the last two days?" Amitiel shock her head. "Maybe we'll ask him if we can get him awake." His phone started to ring. Leitima walked over and picked it up turning it around trying to remember how Castiel told them it is you open one of these things up. Finely she got it open and answered. "Dean! Dean is that you?" The male voice on the other end of the phone yelled out. "No this is not Dean who is this?" Leitima said. "Who is this and why do you have Dean's phone?" The man asked. "Are you by chance Bobby singer?" There was nothing for a few moments. "Yes who are you?" Leitima let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. "This is Leitima I am Amitiel's lover and a angel sent by Castiel to watch over Dean. He told us about you too!" Bobby sighed. "Why don't you bring Dean here I need to talk to him."

Leitima looked over at Dean. "He drank till he passed out so I don't know about talking but we'll bring him to you." Bobby hung up. "Who was that and where are we taking Dean?" Amitiel asked. "We are taking him to Bobby's he's back from his trip. He wants to talk to Dean" Amitiel nodded. "Let's go then." They both got on a side of Dean and took him to Bobby's. "Where do we put him?" Bobby stared at him with wide eyes. "There is a spare room in the back just put him in the bed."

Amitiel and Leitima came out of the back room and sat down in a chair facing Bobby. "Did you want to talk to him about his drinking or that he hasn't called you just wondering." Amitiel asked. "His drinking?" Amitiel and Leitima both looked at one another. "Do are care to answer me?" They both turned to look at Bobby. " It looked like he had been drinking the hole liqueur store." Bobby rubbed his temples. "We'll ask him when he wakes up."

Later that night Dean woke freaked out looking around. "What the hell where am I…Gods my head." Dean looked around and saw a door with a toilet on the inside and made a run for it. "Sounds like he's up. The twins stood up in sync. " You may not want to go in there right now." They turned to look at one another then gave a nod and sat down again. "When your done throwing up your guts get out here!" Bobby yelled. Dean sighed. "So that's where I'm at."

Dean came to stand in front of Bobby and two girls with wings. He froze and did a double take and the wings where gone. "You alright?" Dean gave a nod. "Yeah I'm fine. Who are the girl's and where have you been." Bobby smiled. "I've been around. I for lack of a way to tell you. I want you to meet my wife." Deans eyes went wide. He looked at the door when he saw Crawly. "Gods you had me worried there for a moment." Bobby raised a brow. "Love maybe he needs time to let it sink in." Crawly said. Dean watched as Crawly walked over to stand behind Bobby. "Your joking right?"

Bobby shook his head. "And what is this about you drinking till you pass out?" Dean shook his head "What I do is no business of yours A and B I looked all over for you. You have been missing for some time now where the hell did you go?" Bobby smiled. "The angels sent me on a trip to relive my life but Crawly saved me then it turned more into a trip we went on all over the world doing what I won't tell you because you don't want to know but we're married." Dean sighed. "Okay so who are those two." Dean asked pointing at the girls. The twins stood in sync again and smiled at Dean. "I'm Amitiel and this is my lover Leitima. We are angels and Castiel has placed us here to guard and watch over you." Dean looked as she had just slapped him. "Great well I'm going to go find a bar now."

Bobby glared at Dean. "Sit your ass down right this minute!" Dean did as Bobby said. "Crawly can you show the Girls the rest of the house and tell them anything they may need to know." Crawly nodded and kissed Bobby on the cheek and looked at the twins. "Lets go." After everyone cleared the room. "What is wrong with you?" Dean looked at him and something in him broke again as he looked at the worried face of the man that was a father to him. "He left me…They all left…Am I so damaged that not even my own guardian angel will stay what dose that mean Bobby?" Bobby's eyes went wide. "You told him didn't you?" Dean closed his eyes. "Yes I told him and he was fine for a time…" Dean told Bobby everything that had happened leaving out things that he wanted to keep to himself. Every kiss every touch. Those where his. "And that's why I would rather drink myself into the ground and go to hell again then to have to have a clear head to think." Dean looked up the rage on Bobby's face was not something Dean could remember seeing before. "I'll be back." Bobby got up and left. Leaving a very clueless Dean to wonder where he was going. "Don't you dare follow me boy!" He headed out the door.

Castiel was in a bus stop when he was pulled into Bobby's barn. "Bobby what is…" He was cut off when Bobby hit him in the face. Castiel fell to the ground spiting the blood that filled his mouth. "What the hell did you think you where doing. You broke him and you left him!" Castiel looked at the ground. "I've been looking for Amisha." Bobby looked at him. "Bobby Castiel come quick something is wrong with Dean!" Leitima said and disappeared back to the house. Bobby looked over to see Castiel running. "Why are you on foot?" Castiel looked at him. "I'm mostly human." It was only then Bobby saw how dirty the angel was and the dark rings under his eyes and the blood on his mouth. They could hear Dean's screams coming from the house.

They got to the door and found everyone in the living room with Dean on the floor screaming in pain. Bobby rushed to his side and laid a hand on his back and pulled it away. "His back is burning!" Amitiel put a healing hand on his back and tried to heal but it didn't do any good. Castiel put his hands on his shirt and ripped it open and it fell off. "What the hell is that?" Bobby yelled watching a tattoo appear and fade and appear and fade all over again like waves over his back. Amitiel's eyes went wide. "Leitima you're seeing this right?" Leitima's eyes where just as wide as she stared at Dean's back. "It's already started! We need holy water!" Amitiel yelled out. Bobby and Castiel went running to get some.

Leitima and Amitiel took him to the bathroom and put him into the bathtub. "We are in here." Leitima passed the bottles of holy water too Amitiel who poured them one after another on Dean's back. Slowly the marks started to fade away and Dean settled down when they faded to a light black of tattoo of a set of sigils with angelic markings around them and he passed out. "What the hell was that." Bobby asked. "We have to go check on something." The twins left no answers. Bobby looked at Castiel who let out a scream of pain and dropped to the ground holding himself. "Not this again." Castiel said as he started to shake in pain. Bobby bent down on his knees looking down at the broken angel. "Castiel what is wrong?" Castiel grabbed Bobby's arm "Take me away from Dean please." Castiel begged.

Bobby nodded pulling him out into the living room. Castiel slowly stopped shaking and let out a sigh relived when the pain stopped. Bobby watched him closely. "Cas what the hell was that?" Castiel looked down. "I am…" He took in a deep breath. "Reacting to Dean's pain." Bobby looked at him. "That would make since given everything the prophesy says." Castiel looked at Bobby. "Please tell me what you know for years. No one will tell me what it says." Bobby looked down thinking about it for a moment. "I don't know all of it just bits." Castiel nodded sitting up as if he was a child waiting to be told a story.

A/N Okay I know this is hard to keep up with please please review I need input or my muse will go on strike again please please review!


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